I’d like to be proud that I’m one of those users. Instead, I’m left with one question: what am I doing?

Seriously–what am I doing? I just don’t understand Google+. And I’m not sure I like it.

After days of anxiously awaiting a beta invite to the new social media service, I finally found my way in. I had it! Finally! The thing the Internet was telling me I needed! I could now invite others! My Facebook and Twitter friends e-kneeled to me, begging me to show them mercy and let them, too, into this hyper-exclusive-nearly-10-million-strong network!

I did them that favor. And then I barely visited Google+ again.

Indeed, after several minutes of euphoria (though eons in Web time), my Google+ hangover set in. What was I thinking? Another social media outlet to destroy my productivity and free time? I’d been “in a relationship” exclusively with Facebook for years before I willed myself to take the Twitter plunge!

With Google+, I’m setting myself up to learn a whole new set of online mores. So despite positive word of networking and sharing ease on Google+, I just don’t know if I’m ready for the overhaul.

My friends don’t seem ready either.

Of the (soon-to-be) 10 million users to access Google+, I’ve amassed a circle of 16 friends, who I assume are waiting in limbo for more to join the network or to abandon its promise. Many of these friends (er, circle-members?), seemingly as confused as I remain, have frantically taken to a “Where’s the tutorial?” status update (is it still a status update?) which their circle-rs(??) in turn +1’ed. Confusion abounds!

Finally, I just don’t know if I’m ready to make room or time for this much Google in my life.

I’m not quite sure if I sit among the hoards of worrywarts who suggest that Google will one day own us and sell smartphone-cars that map out and auto-drive us to our destinations. I could just as easily classify myself as one of the many complacent Google-faithful, simply grateful that I can rely on a speedy search engine for information rather than some molasses-like Encyclopaedia Brittanica CD-ROM (remember when?!).

Either way, Google+ has me in a rut. I respect the promise and apparent limitlessness of combining a search engine hegemon with the best features of social media networks. But I also like to rely on a variety of outside sources for information.

In other words, I see Google+ as the All Star Game of social media: fun once a while, but best to leave to the pros on their respective teams the rest of the time.

So though I might be outnumbered 9,999,999 to one, I’ll reserve my praise of Google+. I’m a lover of the ever-changing Internet, but I’ll stick to what I know for now.


To enjoy more humor about Google+, visit http://mashable.com/2011/07/12/google-plus-parodies/